I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
