Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
