If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
