Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
