There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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