Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
