please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
