i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
