Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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