he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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