my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
