Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
