I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
