just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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