Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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