as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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