I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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