My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize