(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
