all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
