just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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