Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Randomize
