While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize