I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
