haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
