this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
