Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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