all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she peed on how many people?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
