Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Randomize