part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
