And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
