she looked like the bat from fern gully.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
time to smoke my breakfast
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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