I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
