I heard we made out
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
