It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
