chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
