since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
