Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
