Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
