where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
