I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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