Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
