just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
