I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize