Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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