dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
