The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
MIDGETS
????
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize