I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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