You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize