all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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