I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
