it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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