Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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