Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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