I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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