haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize