My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
