I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
