So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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