I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
