oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
