Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
